Ross v Ross

1. Star Wars saga – The storytelling template. It has everything a film should have, plus lightsabers

2. The Lord Of The Rings trilogy – A close second, like Star Wars, but no lightsabers. Fellowship; the greatest walking film of all time

3. Jurassic Park – ‘Uh, John, what you got in there? some kinda large animals?’ Dinosaurs should be in EVERY film, not just the ones about dinosaurs

4. The Usual Suspects – Greatest plot twist of all time, before plot twists became the norm. ‘Give ME the keys, you cocksucker.’ Spacey – brilliant

5. Moulin Rouge – Top five requirement: must be able to watch it, then watch it again immediately. Cannot drive without singing at least one from the soundtrack

6. LA Confidential – Couldn’t turn this film off for all the whiskey in Ireland, boyo. Unrivalled cast

7. Gladiator – Are you not entertained? I am Maximus, very much so

8. Silence of the Lambs – Lecter: up there with Vader. Foster: hot in an ugly kinda way. ‘I can smell your c**t’: greatest quote, and technique, ever

9. The Matrix/Matrix Reloaded – Pity about the third one. Who’d of thought Keanu Reeves could pull off two of the best films ever made?

10. The Dark Knight – I disagree with McG on this not being perfect. Joker: best character – and magician – ever

11. Reservoir Dogs – A heist movie with no heist, yet still the best ever heist movie. Dialogue is so good it carries the entire film. ‘You gonna bark all day….?’

12. Braveheart – Historically inaccurate, he COULD shoot thunderbolts from his arse

13. Kill Bill 1&2 – Samurai swordfights, animé, Gogo, snake codenames, it’s like it was made especially for me. Awesome soundtrack to boot

14. Con Air – ‘Put the bunny back in the box.’ The quote alone guarantees inclusion. As improbable as a film can get, but there is nothing as fun to watch

15. Sin City – It’s like reading the comic, except I don’t have to reach all the way over and turn the page

16. Pulp Fiction – Three Tarantinos in the top 20? I didn’t realise I liked him that much

17. The Lion King – Disney? killing a main character? Ballsy, but just one of the ingredients of the greatest animated film ever

18. Goodfellas – So many pretenders followed, none came close. ‘Now go home and get your shinebox.’ Pesci is scary

19. Troy – Definitely underrated. Condenses everything that was interesting about ancient Greece into two hours

20. The Blair Witch Project – Scariest. Film. Ever. If you let yourself get swept up in the hype, it was worth it. Extremely clever filmmaking

21. Anchorman – Ferrell’s finest hour. One of the funniest films ever made. ‘I’m gonna punch you right in the ovaries’

22. The Shawshank Redemption – I’ve never rooted for a film character as much. He probably did smell a little bit like crap on the other side, mind

23. Napoleon Dynamite – Jon Heder is simply impossible not to fall in love with. ‘I bet I could throw this ball over those mountains.’ Funny, but not a comedy

24. Children of Men – A sleeper. this will be a classic one day

25. Fight Club – Such a cliché to include this film, but such a lie if you claim not to like it. Pitt, Norton, Loaf: what a cast

26. Monsters Inc – Cannot watch it without crying. Gets me every single time. Why can’t she stay with you Sully? Man, I’ve a lump in my throat even thinking about it

27. The Truman Show – I used to think I was in a show and everyone I knew was in on it when I was a kid. If only I’d wrote it down and sold it to a film producer

28. Memento – Cleverest film ever. I’m still not sure I fully understand it

29. Desperado – Guy with a suitcase full of guns shooting lots of people? Yeah, I’ll watch that

30. Toy Story – The reason all animated films are now CGI. Great sequel too. Hard to pull off two equally likeable main characters

31. Terminator 2: Judgment Day – 18 years old now and the effects still hold up. SO much better than the first one

32. Mission: Impossible – ‘Red light; Green Light!’ McG would be upset if I didn’t include at least one Cruise missile. ‘McD, you’ve never seen me very upset’

33. Se7en – That guy on the bed is still alive! Excuse me while I change my pants.

34. Last Of The Mohicans – Another throat lumper. That 7-minute ending with just music is probably the greatest film sequence ever

35. Blades of Glory – Anchorman meets Napoleon Dynamite. Watched it twice back2back the other nite, was as funny the second time. ‘You’re welcome Stockholm’

36. Die Hard – ITV’s edited down version not as good. What the hell does Kemo Sabe mean, anyway?

37. Indiana Jones trilogy – Should have left it at a trilogy too

38. Saving Private Ryan – That bit where the German dude slowly pushes the knife into the American is simply the most unnerving thing I have ever seen

39. Devil’s Advocate – Legal dramas are boring, unless Satan’s involved

40. True Lies – Arnie’s finest. ‘I know what that is: it’s a snow cone maker’, and of course, ‘you’re fired’. Even Tom Arnold is funny. Bill Paxton/Pullman is great

41. 28 Days Later – They’re zombies, but they can run! Sequel was quite good too, despite what some say

42. Shrek 1&2 – If you can ignore the fact that Mike Myers does that accent in every film, and ignore Shrek the Turd, these are great. Pity Lithgow didn’t make it

43. Starship Troopers – Man versus giant bugs! As satisfying as stepping on one (a bug, not a man)

44. Princess Mononoke – Gillian Anderson plays a convincing wolf god. Probably has some environmental message that I don’t care about

45. 300 – Probably the best looking film I’ve ever seen

46. Forrest Gump – Retards are people too. Most boxes of chocolates come with little menus

47. Who Framed Roger Rabbit? – Bob Hoskins completely convinces he is acting alongside cartoons. My first ever sticker album. Never completed it, though

48. Titanic – ‘Could I share that float with you?’ – ‘Nope’

49. In Bruges – Colin Farrell CAN act, but only when he’s acting like a scumbag from Dublin. Brendan Gleeson should be in every film

50. There Will Be Blood – Some dislike this because it’s two-and-a-half hours of Daniel Day-Lewis, like that’s a bad thing. Best actor ever

51. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – Pity it spawned a lot of bad copies, this was the original and best

52. Wall.E – Cutest film ever. Who needs dialogue when the two leads are that adorable?

53. The Ring – The American version. The bit where you’re unexpectedly shown the first victim in the wardrobe was the biggest shock I’ve ever had in the cinema

54. Dogma – More films should take the piss out of Catholicism, it’s easy and fun. ‘What the **** happened to that guy’s head?!’

55. Alien quadrilogy – Achieves the difficult task of blending horror and sci-fi. All four have something to offer, including Ron Perlman

56. The Omen – The original, a truly scary film which never once relies on ambushing violins

57. The Addams Family/Values – These are a pleasure to watch. Morticia is hot

58. The Big Lebowski – Didn’t really like this the first time round, but second and subsequent viewings made me realise. ‘Shut the **** up Donny’ never gets old

59. Jaws – Had the same effect on everyone’s opinion of swimming. That bit where the one-eyed guy floats out Aaggghhh!

60. Amélie – Doesnt make me cry (McG u fag), but it is a superb film. Audrey Tautou is hot

61. Me, Myself and Irene – ‘Why am I peeing like I was up having sex all night?’ I thought falling out of your seat was just a figure of speech til then

62. Pan’s Labyrinth – A fairytale that’s gruesome as hell. Hans Christian Anderson never bottled anyone in the face

63. Juno – Ellen Page is adorable. Surely teenage pregnancy is this sugar coated?

64. Transformers – Expected this to be soooo bad. Au contraire. Opening scene with Blackout is among cinema’s finest. ‘I AM MEGATRON!’ Yeah you are

65. Signs – Shyamalan’s best by far, a great take on the old plot of alien invasion. That footage of the alien at the birthday party was terrifying. Scary Movie does take away from it a little though

66. Leon – I have a painting of this in my bathroom. Paedophelia never seemed like a more attractive career choice

67. Training Day – Denzel’s a baddie? With that smile?

68. Casino Royale – The Batman Begins of Bond. Batman Begins, incidentally, isn’t in this list…

69. Aladdin – ‘You’re only in trouble if you get caught…I’m in trouble’ Jasmine is hot

70. Beetlejuice – One of the great movie characters, fantastic turn by Keaton. Didn’t realise it was him until years after I first watched it

71. Street Fighter II: The Animated Movie – The only decent computer game film. ‘Bison! I’ll rip your ******* heart out you filthy *******!’ – ‘Afraid I don’t have one, captain’

72. Batman/Returns/Forever – Burton’s two were great, but I think Forever paid a necessary homage to Adam West’s campfest. ‘Was that over the top?’

73. Catch Me If You Can – The fact that it’s based on a true story makes it. Hanks and DiCaprio should work together more

74. Mask Of Zorro – Catherine Zeta-Jones in this was the pinnacle of the female form. Antonio Banderas is hot too

75. Back To The Future trilogy – Messing with time travel is tricky (in film, not in physics), the trilogy nails it. The train is better than the DeLorean, sorry fanboys

76. Full Metal Jacket – It’s like two whole films! Joker did my sister’s last portfolio headshots, I’m told

77. Little Miss Sunshine – Heartwarming is a bit gay, so I won’t say that. Abigail Breslin’s dance finale is inspired

78. The Bourne trilogy – I can’t really tell the difference between any of these, but the chases and fight choreography is unmatched. He’s certainly no Streisand

79. Doomsday – The only thing this film was missing was dinosaurs. Like spilling all your toys out of the box and playing with everything together

80. The Thing – Another great horror/sci-fi. Effects are brilliant, and if you said you seen that resuscitation bit coming, you’re a liar

81. Stand By Me – Nothing happens – brilliant. Like Fellowship of the Ring, with less, but more poignant, dead bodies

82. Cube – The entire thing is shot in one room! The original Saw. if you weren’t claustrophobic beforehand…

83. The 40-Year-Old Virgin – So rewatchable. Greatest end sequence ever

84. Rambo I, II, IV – Shame III was rubbish. But IV was a shock hit. Explosions actually blow people up? I thought they just made you jump really far

85. Clash Of The Titans – There should be more Harryhausen in this list, but this is certainly one of the best. Stop motion = scary

86. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves – I’ll get you Harry Potter/John McClane/Robin Hood

88. 12 Angry Men – Proof that you dont need special effects, exotic locations or pumping action to make a superb film – just a single room and Henry Fonda

88. The Commitments – ‘I thought this was a queue for drugs’ – just like the real Dublin

89. The Elephant Man – Man, that is hard to watch. You’re lucky people aren’t so cruel about looks any more, McG

90. Casino – Loses marks for its similarity to Goodfellas, but gains for that ping of baseball bat on Pesci’s legs.

91. Star Trek: First Contact – The best of the Treks. Borgs are pretty rubbish tho, just don’t look threatening and they’ll leave you alone

92. The Monster Squad – ‘Hey Fat Kid; good job.’ – ‘My name *reloads shotgun* is Horace!’ – fantastic

93. The Last King Of Scotland – Only seen this recently, Whitaker is as good as they say. ‘Well if it isn’t my old friend Mr McGreg, with a leg for an arm and an arm for a leg’

94. The Frighteners – Completely underrated, J Fox v Busey, plus that dude from Full Metal Jacket turns up, maggot – brilliant

95. The Mask – It’s like a cartoon, but it’s a film. ‘And last but not least, my favourite: a Tommy Gun!’

96. The Good Girl – Lots of people don’t like this for some reason. Jennifer Aniston is great in it

97. The Breakfast Club – ‘Does Barry Manilow know you raid his wardrobe?’ Just like real detention

98. Battle Royale – Like the wrestling version, except with Japanese school kids. And instead of over the top rope… crossbows

99. The Nightmare Before Christmas – ‘And I Jack, the Pumpkin King, have grown so tired of the same old thing.’ Songs alone make it warrant inclusion

100. The Princess Bride – Most quotable film ever, and for a reason

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