Top Five… needlessly discarded items in movies
Titanic is back (in 3D) on the big screen to mark the centenary of the ship’s sinking/opportunity to make some cash from an old recyclable. It’s been 15 years since the apparently insufficient 2D version, but the film still lives fresh in our memories, thanks to one memorable scene… Kate Winslet confusing the definition of ‘flying’? Kate Winslet smudging fingerprints over that nice clean glass? Kate Winslet promising not to let go before prising Leo’s cold dead fingers off her minutes later? That guy bouncing off the railings when he fell off the back of the upturned ship? No! It’s that senile old wagon tossing the necklace into the sea. Ross McD charts the items from films that shouldn’t have been thrown away…
I mean, Bill Paxton brought you all the way out here on what I can only assume is a terribly expensive expedition. He’s spent all this money, time and effort, dragged a whole crew out here looking for the Heart of the Ocean… and it’s been in your pocket the whole time! And after you make everyone sit there and listen to your rambling story for two-and-a-half hours, you wander out and toss the thing overboard! Why didn’t you donate it to a museum? Or sell it for charity? Or maybe even give it to that poor sap who’s spent his life looking for it inside? If I’d seen you do that, you would went in after it.
4. Point Break
What is it with people tossing stuff into the sea? Pick up a skimming stone or something! To be fair, Keanu Reeves was probably going to get fired anyway, what with releasing a prisoner an entire FBI team had travelled to Australia just to apprehend. But I’m pretty sure that FBI badge doesn’t actually belong to him – don’t you have to return those when the captain asks for ‘your shield and your gun’, as movie police captains are wont to do?
Watch the ending to Point Break HERE
3. Star Wars: Episode VI – Return of the Jedi
– ‘Fulfil your destiny and take your father’s place by my side.’
– ‘Never!’ *tosses lightsaber away*
– ‘I’ll never turn to the dark side… oh wait! sh*t! You can shoot lightning out of your hands and stuff! I wish I had a lightsaber right now…’
Reminds me of another lightsaber-guard-dropping conversation…
– ‘If you strike me down Darth, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine.’
– ‘Oh yeah? What will you be able to do?’
– ‘Well… I, uh, can occasionally talk to Luke in his head… uh, I can appear as a ghost momentarily… um…. that’s about it really.’
– ‘Oh Okay. I’m going to chop you in half now.’
Okay now Bennett, think: you’re in a pretty advantagous position here. You might become the first ever person to beat Arnie in a film! You’ve got a gun in one hand, his young daughter in the other, you’ve just shot him in the shoulder, and all he’s got is a knife! Just stay calm, checkmate is only a couple of moves away. No… don’t listen to him, he’s only trying to wind you up! No don’t throw his daughter away, that’s your only collateral! Just shoot him! No don’t throw the gun away too… look at the size of him! Why would you want to knife fight him? Oh Bennett, you deserve a pipe through the gut and a terrible kiss-off line.
1. ¡Three Amigos!
And now we come to the only entry on this list that was intentionally funny. There are plenty of gems in this classic with the three boys at the top of their game, but none better the sight of three parched amigos riding through the desert and stopping to drink from their canteens. Steve Martin’s contains but a trickle, Martin Short gets a mouthful of sand, before they both turn to watch Chevy Chase guzzle as he pours his full bottle all over his face, before casually tossing the still-spilling canteen onto the ground. The perfect scene is capped off when he then pointedly moisturises his lips, turns to finally notice his incredulously staring companions, before offering: ‘lip balm?’
WHAT ITEMS FROM MOVIES SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN DISCARDED?