Happy Trails Hans: Tron Legacy
Guy talking to a kid. Kid rides a motorbike. Cue Dark Knighty music. Stupid Batman. He’s ruined every other movie for everybody. Kid goes to a rundown arcade. Guy keeps talking in voiceover. He is boring me a little. Isn’t this the trailer for the new Tron movie? Where are all the flashy bikes that leave lines behind them? Where is Jeff Bridges? Where is the Atari 2600?
He’s still talking. This is getting unbearable. Give me my lasers, dammit. Right, way over a minute gone and it looks like something is about to happen. Kid has found a computer. And POOF!! All of a sudden we’re in Tron world. What, just like that? No teaser of how he managed to get there? Tron world looks quite neat though, if a little cold. It looks a bit like an advert for the Winter Olympics. Finally, a bike with a line coming out of it. It’s all a little too slick though. Where’s the lovely crappiness of the original movie? I want Pac-Man, not Final Fantasy Thirteen.
A-ha… the Bridges! This guy has an Oscar, now. Don’t think he’ll get another one for this.
VERDICT: I’m going to count to three. There will not be a four