Happy Trails Hans: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus

Parnassuspic

He is the internet’s evilest trailer reviewer, Hans down. This time he’s critiquing Terry Gilliam’s latest trip into his own imaginaration, accompanied by an all-star cast. But how many stars will Mr Gruber bestow?

Fifteen seconds in, and I have absolutely no idea what is going on here. What is up with that guy’s voice? He really shouldn’t be smoking, he sounds like his throat cancer has cancer. ‘Any child would at the age of 16 belong to him’ – oh dear, what sort of a film is this? It may struggle to get a 12A rating. Ah, the late, great Mr Ledger… and the small, untall Mr Me.

This music is rather catchy. Forty seconds into this trailer and I’m already sick of the sight of that mask. Is this how they are going to get around the problem of Ledger’s mortality? A moment please… isn’t that Mr Depp? No, it’s Mr Ledger again… wait, it was Mr Depp… and Mr effing Farrell? And Mr Law… my, the ladies will be pleased. Terry Gilliam is still alive? Perhaps not, it doesnt seem to be a criteria for involvement in this film: Jude Law is in it, after all. ‘Nothing’s permanent, not even death,’ Mr Depp creepily retorts on cue. Apparently not. The superlative generator seems to be alive and well, mind.

VERDICT: Thank you Mr Cowboy, I’ll take it under advisement.

four stars

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5 Responses to “Happy Trails Hans: The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus”

  1. Paul the Ball Says:

    cheers Hans, or is it Mr Gruber?, for bringing this to my attention.
    had read about this movie a while back and wasnt so sure but that trailer makes it look pretty splendid. will be interesting on release to hear people arguing.. ‘Heath’s way better than Johnny..’, ‘No, Johnny’s better than Heath and Colin..’ ‘No, Colin is the best’ and ‘Jude is my favourite’
    although i cant imagine anyone saying that last one.

  2. That’s very kind of you. I assume you are our mysterious party crasher. You are most troublesome, for a security guard.

  3. Brilliant trailer…. weird but brilliant

  4. Hey, f**ktard, the guy with the funny voice is Tom Waits. Greatest living american songwriter? Ring any bells?

  5. Uh, no, I’m afraid not. But, you have me at a loss. You know my name but who are you? Just another American who saw too many movies as a child? Another orphan of a bankrupt culture who thinks he’s John Wayne? Rambo? Marshal Dillon?

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