Poetry in Motion Pictures: The Great Outdoors

Have you ever watched one of your favourite movies and thought, ‘You know what, I’d love to see that turned into a short poem’? Er, no, didn’t think so. Well tough, that’s exactly what you’re going to get here. This time it’s The Great Outdoors, the best comedy in history.


By Chet Ripley


Bite the big one, Uncle Roman

Who plays at being rich

Nose-hair trimmer, he is, I quote

‘A crooked son of a bitch’.


My kids look at me like I’m Zeus

His find him hard to take

He says hotdogs are made of assholes

I wish he would Suck My Wake.


Water-skiing with one water-ski

No need to go any faster

But oh dear! He mishears

My futile cries of ‘you bastard’.



All that’s left is gristle and fat

Vacation broken, I can’t fix her

No way I can manage eating that

But made to finish the Ole 96er


Big bear, big bear chase me

Bear with sore and bald head

He tails me to my cabin,

He is angry. Like a bear.


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