The Top Five Unkillable Screen Baddies

Did you ever notice that baddies in action films can be killed with a haphazard bullet casually fired in their general direction, but baddies in horror films can survive anything short of having a planet dropped on their head? Why don’t evil megalomaniacs hire their henchmen from horror genres? They’d save a huge amount in wages, not to mention the flowers they have to continuously send to henchwidows. Here’s five of the unkillablest…

5. Freddy Krueger 

Survived: Set on fire, set on fire again, stabbed with razor glove, buried, exorcised, torn asunder, turned back into a fetus, stabbed with his own glove again, blown up with dynamite, cooked, impaled on his own glove again, decapitated.

Likes: Gardening, NyQuil

Hates: Children, coffee, V, people who don’t replace the battery in their smoke alarms, Jason Voorhees

How to kill him: have a baby. You won’t sleep long enough for Freddy to scratch himself

Did you know?: Freddy is a playable character in Mortal Kombat

4. Chucky

Survived: Shot, set on fire, shot to pieces, melted, having his head exploded, face chopped off, chopped to bits in a giant fan, stabbed, shot again, chopped to pieces again.

Likes: Barbie, Cindy, Bratz

Dislikes: GI-Joes, cheapo batteries, kids who spent all day playing Xbox

How to kill him: Accidentally put him in the washing machine

Did you know?: Chucky is based on a real life toy called Robert the Doll which supposedly tried to kill its owner

3. Michael Myers

Survived: Shot several times, fell off second floor balcony, shot several times, blown up, set on fire, shot several times, thrown down mine shaft, dynamite thrown after him, shot several times, blown up, injected with corrosive chemicals, bludgeoned with metal pipe, crushed, decapitated, electrocuted, shot, knifed, fell off second floor balcony, shot in face, stabbed in face.

Likes: Star Trek

Hates: His family, Jamie lee Curtis, being asked to do ‘that line’ from Austin Powers, Kaaaaaahn! Noonien Singh

How to kill him: Simply don’t cast him – he wasn’t a problem in Halloween 3

Did you know?: He was referred to only as The Shape in the first two films

2. Jason Voorhees

Survived: Drowned, machetied, hit in the head with an axe, chopped up with a machete, impaled, chained to a boulder and thrown in a lake, had his throat opened by a boat propeller, melted in toxic waste, blown up, stabbed in heart and dragged to hell, cryo-frozen, blown to pieces again, shot into space, disintegrated, set on fire, drowned again.

Likes: Hockey, his mom

Dislikes: Swimming, summer camp, limbs, Freddy Krueger

How to kill him: Force feed him toasted marshmallows and tell him ghost stories

Did you know?: Jason doesn’t kill anyone until part 2, and doesn’t get his hockey mask until part 3.

1. Wile E Coyote

Survived: all of the above

Likes: Road Runners, Acme company products

Dislikes: Road runners, Acme company products

How to kill him: Give him a Road Runner – imagine the shock of that after 63 years?

Did you know?: He was originally going to be called Don Coyote

WHO IS YOUR FAVOURITE UNKILLABLE BADDIE?

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4 Responses to “The Top Five Unkillable Screen Baddies”

  1. LOL THEY NEVER DIE!!

  2. They sure don’t Candice. just like the Goonies

  3. Lol Michael Myers is my favorite though! But seriously, why don’t they ever die?!

  4. Jason Voorhees used to scare me a lot when i was a kid and first watched Friday the 13th. Freddy had that effect but at a lesser degree. Wile E Coyote is my favorite i guess 😀

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