Top Five… Eternal Movie Franchises That Should Have a Reunion

The American Pie crew are getting back together 13 years and eight films after the original (yes, eight! Have you seen The Naked Mile? No? Well, don’t). American Pie Reunion is actually pretty good, but we reckon these reunions would be a lot more fun to gatecrash.
5. Police Academy

Let out some steam, Bennett

Number of films: 7
Top of the class: City Under Siege – had that bit with Michael ‘Larvelle’ Winslow fighting in badly dubbed Japanese and then pretending to be a robot. Pretty much the only funny bit out of seven films.
Dunce’s corner: Mission to Moscow – Christopher Lee? Ron Pearlman? Seriously guys, hang your heads in shame. At least this film killed off the franchise… for now.
Awkward reunion moment: When Steve Guttenberg suggests a sequel to subsidise his fake tan addiction.
Most likely to get drunk and start a fight: Winslow, after being prodded and asked to ‘do’ sound effects one too many times.


4. Batman

Your N-Trance was good, his was better

Number of films: 8
Top of the class: The Dark Knight – unless the Dark Knight Rises manages to top it. But I doubt it.
Dunce’s corner: Batman and Robin – ‘It’s lucky we have these ice skates in our boots, Batman!’ ‘It sure is, Robin!’
Awkward reunion moment: When Adam West accidentally walks in Christian Bale’s line of sight.
Most likely to get drunk and start a fight: Um… how about Bale? Doesn’t need to be drunk though.


3. Star Trek

'...not while everyone's looking!'

Number of films: 11
Top of the class: First Contact – ‘The line must be drawn HERE!’ Picard kicks ass for an old bald dude.
Dunce’s corner: Generations – Shatner survived 79 episodes and six films of space battles and alien venereal diseases to *SPOILER* die… falling off a stupid bridge?
Awkward reunion moment: When The Shats demands to sing Rocket Man.
Most likely to get drunk and start a fight: Jonathan ‘Will Riker’ Frakes will definitely start on the new hot guy Chris Pine for stealing all the ladies.


2. Friday the 13th

Who wants to play pin the tail on the donkey?

Number of films: 12
Top of the class: Friday the 13th – The first one obviously, duh.
Dunce’s corner: Jason X – It is the year 2455, and the technology to restrain one guy with a machete still does not exist.
Awkward reunion moment: When a room full of producers realise at the exact same moment the next Friday 13th film will be…. the 13th one! Marketing done!
Most likely to get drunk and start a fight: Robert ‘Freddy’s nightmares’ Englund, who still hasn’t gotten over losing the scrap in Freddy V Jason


1. James Bond

What do you mean it's not fancy dress?

Number of films: 23
Top of the class: GoldenEye – Brosnan smirking, Famke Jansen squeezing, Sean Bean brooding, Tina Turner crooning, great Nintendo game – everything Bond should be.
Dunce’s corner: Quantum of Solace – Something about water? I can’t remember. Even the hilariously bad title couldn’t make grumpy Daniel Craig crack a smile.
Awkward reunion moment: When all 23 Bond girls arrive at Jimmy’s table at the same time for a dance.
Most likely to get drunk and start a fight: Sean Connery, just cause he’s a cranky old b*****x, apparently


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: