Top Five… Sports Teams

badnewsbearsTie up your boot laces, strap on your pads and get your game face on: it’s time for you to go up against the greatest teams in the movies. Let’s play ball!

5. The Rockford Peaches – A League Of Their Own


There is no crying in baseball. There is no excitement in it either, yet somehow it manages to transfer brilliantly to the big screen. The Rockford Peaches (who were a real team) had a tough draw to get on this list, beating Major League’s Cleveland Indians to the division title before knocking out BASEketball’s Milwaukee Beers in the play-offs. But they’re here on merit – what other team can boast the girl who was Tank Girl, the girl who was in Earth Girls Are Easy and the girl who sang La Isla Bonita. Throw in boisterous coach Jimmy Dugan (Tom Hanks) and the Peaches sure do taste sweet.

Star Player: Dottie Hinson (Geena Davis)
Tall, athletic and able to catch a ball and do the splits at the same time. Don’t remember A-Rod doing that.

4. The Dirty Yellows – Bedknobs And Broomsticks


Their team name says it all – this lot are a bunch of animals. They may have a poor disiciplinary record, but the Yellows always get the job done. In their narrow 1-0 win over the True Blues in Bedknobs And Broomsticks, they even field an extra team member to their opponents. And what a team. Made up of the lion, the warthog, the gorilla, the crocodile, the rhinoceros and the hyena, they really are the jungle’s Real Madrid.

Star Player: King Leonidas the lion (Lennie Weinrib)
Goalscorer and midfield general. Any footballer capable of blowing all the other players into the net with his roar has got to be worth a punt in the January transfer window.

To watch the whole match from Bedknobs And Broomsticks, click HERE.

3. The Bears – The Bad News Bears


The youngest team in this list, but don’t let that put you off. These kids can curse and drink beer with the best of them. To this bunch, ‘sportsmanship’ is just another dirty word.

Star Player: Kelly Leak (Jackie Earle Haley)
He smokes. He drives a Harley. He’s a loan shark. But man can this boy play… Many years later, Haley went on to play Rorschach, who Kelly Leak would eat for breakfast. After bashing him with a baseball bat.

2. The Allies – Escape To Victory


Pelé. Ardiles. Moore. Stallone. It’s a who’s who of great footballers. Except for Pelé, who was always a bit overrated… Okay, so Sly isn’t the best goalkeeper in the world, and Michael Caine is carrying a little bit of weight, but this is still a cracking team. These POWs may have only scraped a 4-4 draw with the Germans, but they did so in style, playing great football and wearing a fantastic kit. If only football was like this today. Minus the Nazis of course. 

Star Player: Osvaldo Ardiles
Forget Pelé – Ossie didn’t cry off after a few bad tackles then decide he was okay to come back on again later in the game. He did flick the ball over a defender’s head in slo-mo though. Watch it and a runthrough of this great team

1. The Charlestown Chiefs – Slap Shot


And here it is, the icing on the cake. The blueprint for overachieving movie sports teams, the Chiefs kick ass. And then they play some hockey. Led by loveable loser Reggie Dunlop (Paul Newman), they will do whatever it takes to get the better of their opponents, even if that means jumping into the crowd to start a fight or stripping on the ice. What a pucking great team.

Star Player: The Hanson Brothers
Make that ‘players’ – the three Hansons are what elevate this team from being plucky underdogs to plucky underdogs who will break your face before the game has even started. Watch them in action




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10 Responses to “Top Five… Sports Teams”

  1. That’s a cracking list. There must be more too; surely a (dis)honourable mention for the team from Any Given Sunday or… erm… Shaolin Soccer to name but two mentioned in this Wiki –

  2. The Charlestown Chiefs – nicely done.

    A personal favourite of mine has to be the Cleveland Indians (Major League, 1989)

  3. find this list mildly disappointing, but then I’m sure you expected I would.

    What about the Hickory High Huskers and the Mean Machine?

    And just for laughs, the Jamaican bobsleigh team and Ty Webb/Danny Noonan…

    At least you didn’t pick a quidditch team (and yes I had to look quidditch up)

  4. That Bedknobs and Broomsticks match is not only the best ever sporting event to occur in a movie, but the best ever sporting event ever.
    The allies kit in Escape always reminds me of ten people-shaped herbie lovebugs.
    Feckin Sly, robbed the only Irish player in the team of his place, and what did he get in return? A very grimly dispatched broken arm.
    What is it about Ireland getting ripped off in international football and dodgely-placed arms?

  5. The Mighty Ducks!

  6. Great call on Bedknobs and Slap Shot but generally with Gareth on this, it’s a lame list. Never understood the appeal of Escape to Victory, other than it is a novelty act.

    Good call on the bobsleighers, would add Houston Rollerball team and the Snipes and Harrelson partnership in White Men Can’t Jump.

    Also, ‘The Club’, is possibly the best, certainly one of the most underrated films about sports ever produced, and all set around Collingwood Aussie Rules team. Definitely should be in this list.

  7. Dude, dude, dude!!!

    What about the Beers from BASEketball?!?!? I’d LOVE to be on their team more than anything else.

  8. Average Joes.

    Pirates, lesbians, they have it all. And they lose, but STILL win.

  9. Have to second david on “The Club” – truly bizarre but great Aussie stuff.

    Does Average Joes Gym get a look in here? (“if ya can dodge cars, ya can dodge balls!”)

  10. mcguinnr – you are the mcguinnr who knows more about movies than any other mcguinnr i have ever met.

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