Top Five… Doctors
5. Dr Henry Jones Jr
For Indy 5, Spielberg and Lucas should forget the fedora and the bullwhip – the movie I want to see centres around Dr Jones and some unruly kids in his classroom. Surely it’s about time an instalment of the series was devoted to the archaeology professor’s home turf. Indiana Jones And The Staff Room At Lunch would be way better than Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull.
4. Dr Richard Kimble
What is it with Harrison Ford and doctors? He also plays one in Polanski flick Frantic. But it is his portrayal as a vascular surgeon (no, I have no clue what it means either) in The Fugitive where he really puts the ‘action’ in ‘Actionident & Emergency’. Kimble may be a man of medicine, but he’s not averse to jumping off a bus before it’s hit by a train, plunging into a dam from a great height and keeping a straight face while Tommy Lee Jones hams it up.
3. Dr Peter Venkman
PhD holder Pete Venkman is a parapsychologist, but he takes the stand-up comedy approach to his chosen field. Continually wisecracking while carrying a nuclear accelerator on your back isn’t as easy as it looks. As Venkman himself says: ‘Back off man. I’m a scientist.’
2. Dr Strangelove
Dr Strangelove in English, Dr Merkwürdigliebe in German – call him what you like, this is one messed-up dude. So where better for this crazy scientist to spend most of his time than in the war room, with the world’s fate almost in his hands. Well, one of his hands, anyway. When not restraining himself from giving Nazi salutes and calling the US president ‘Mein Führer’, he dreams of repopulating the Earth with women ‘selected for their sexual characteristics which will have to be of a highly stimulating nature’. Nice.
1. Dr Michael Hfuhruhurr
And now we come to cinema’s top doc. Who else could it be but Dr Hfuhruhurr, the brain surgeon with the unspellable name and fan of England’s greatest one-armed poet, John Lillison. Considering he’s The Man With Two Brains, wackiness is a given, yet he remains a doctor’s doctor – so devoted to his discipline (‘So many brains. I feel like a kid in a candy store’) it even costs him his marriage to his lovely wife (‘She’s not ill, she’s a cheap, vulgar slut’). This is one doctor you’ll want to visit again and again.
WHO ARE YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE DOCTORS?