Every actor has his forté. For Samuel L Jackson, it’s shouting. For Al Pacino, it’s shouting louder than Samuel L Jackson. Tom Cruise, however, comes from the Yasmine Bleeth school of thesping. Always have him running.

To the untrained eye, every one of Cruise’s runs is the same. Look closer and you will see the man has an amazing repertoire of runs. On the phone, in a suit, on top of a building… this is a guy who, as Vanilla Sky proves, can run in his sleep. Going to the cinema and seeing a Tom Cruise movie in which he doesn’t run is like going to a Michael Bay movie which doesn’t have explosions. Tom Cruise movies without Tom running just don’t make sense. Lions For Lambs – no Cruise running… rubbish. Tropic Thunder – no Cruise running… not as funny as it should have been. Valkyrie - no Cruise running… Hitler survives.

Just as Nicolas Cage movies need Nicolas Cage playing a total nutjob, so Tom Cruise movies require Tom Cruise running. Here are the five films in which he ran like the wind…

5. The Firm

Cruise still runs an awful lot on screen these days for a man his age, but in terms of speed he hit his stride around the early 90s. We haven’t clocked his movie dashes, but we’re willing to bet that one of his sprints in The Firm would be his personal best. There is a late foot chase in this movie yet The Cruiser really lets fly a little earlier when running down a suburban street. Probably the best running in a legal drama ever.

Watch Tom sprint his heart out in The Firm HERE

4. Vanilla Sky

Some of us dream about falling from a great height or losing our teeth. Not Tom. He dreams about running. In Times Square. Had Vanilla Sky ended five minutes after it began, it would have been the greatest movie about Tom Cruise running in his dreams ever made. More than two hours of introspective guff later, all you can remember is The Cruiser’s own mini New York marathon.

Watch Tom running down a dream HERE

3. War Of The Worlds

Steven Spielberg isn’t one of the greatest directors of all time because he made ET and Schindler’s List. He’s one of the greatest directors of all time because he takes Tom Cruise and makes him run his little Risky Business socks off for an entire movie. His running in War Of The Worlds gains extra points because he’s running from aliens. If only Spielberg’s Catch Me If You Can had been a movie about Tom Cruise running.

Watch Tom evade aliens HERE

2. Mission: Impossible III

The third Mission: Impossible movie was not about competing with Bourne or Bond – it was about showing that a man in his 40s can still do a helluva lot of running. A smorgasbord of sprinting, it has Tom running down skyscrapers, running from fighter jets and running while talking to Simon Pegg on the phone. Yet none of these can beat the moment where his little legs defy gravity itself by running vertically up the walls of the Pope’s house.

Watch Humpty Dumpty sit on a Vatican wall (after running up it) HERE

1. Minority Report

The tagline for Cruise-whipper Spielberg’s excellent sci-fi was ‘Everybody runs’. Of course, it should have been: ‘Tom Cruise runs. A lot’. What Olivier was to Shakespeare, Cruise is to running, and Minority Report is his King Lear. He runs into houses, he runs downs alleys, he runs out of subways. Heck, he even runs a bath!

Watch Tom run up the side of a building HERE

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE TOM CRUISE RUNNING MOMENTS?

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

Ross McD’s DESERT ISLAND DVDS:

What a preposterous idea! What on Earth would I be doing watching DVDs if I was stuck on a desert island? Where would I plug my DVD player in? How would I keep the sun from shining on the screen? Where would I get my popcorn and Coke? How would I access my website to write about how crap they are? Alright, SUPPOSE I play along and SUPPOSE I imagine I have nothing to do but lie on a beach and watch DVDs all day… aw, man that would be sweet…

MOULIN ROUGE! (2001)

If I’m only allowed to bring four discs (who knew the luggage restrictions were so strict?), then longevity is the key. Moulin Rouge! is a film I can watch and then watch again as soon as the credits roll. The pure energy of the film always cheers me up, even though the ending is quite glum. In fact, I seem to keep forgetting what happens in the end (even though it is described in the opening lines) which perhaps is one of the reasons I can watch it again and again. Plus I can sing along all day long and nobody will complain. Not that anyone ever does – I do a mean Come What May.

Click HERE to watch a clip

THE SHAWSHANK REDEMPTION (1994)

Bit of an obvious one, and probably on a few bloggers’ lists. If there’s one film that defines the word ‘hope’, it’s this, and if mine needs some recharging while I sit and wait for a rescue ship, Dufresne and co are always up to the task. If Andy can manage 20 or so years in Shawshank topped off with a swim in a river of shit, then I think I can manage a leisurely movie session on a sunny island. This island is one of those sunny ones, right?

Click HERE to watch a clip

CAST AWAY (2000)

It makes sense to me to bring a film I haven’t seen before. I’m assuming I won’t have access to Netflix? Cast Away is on my list of ones to watch, so what better time to do it? Also, I imagine I could pick up some tips on survival and making friends with the native sports equipment.

Click HERE for clip

9 SONGS (2004)

This film is an absolute triumph of British cinema, challenging the censors that so frequently decimate the director’s vision without a second thought for his artistic intentions. The film’s lifeblood is its pulsating soundtrack, featuring generation-defining music from Black Rebel Motorcycle Club, Elbow, Franz Ferdinand, The Von Blondies, Primal Scream, Dandy Warhols, Super Furry Animals and Michael Nyman. Seriously though. I’m gonna need some smut. Can’t rely on hollowed-out coconuts forever…

Click HERE for clip

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Ross McG’s DESERT ISLAND DVDS:

Having been unfortunate enough to have already been stuck on an island (Ireland) with Ross McD for a considerable period of time, I think I would be well prepared if I found myself trapped alone on a desert version. I wouldn’t necessarily take the four movies that I like best (I’d probably feel a bit more lonely after watching Zodiac under a palm tree, and as for Jaws, well…) but the films that over the years, be they recent or decade-filled, have almost come to be regarded as good friends.

METALLICA: SOME KIND OF MONSTER (2004)

A movie that makes This Is Spinal Tap look like This Is Not As Funny As Some Kind Of Monster. The rockumentary on James Hetfield, Lars Ulrich and co is a film that just keeps on giving. I’ve watched it a number of times and on every viewing I find something fresh and funny that I hadn’t noticed before – a quip here, a seemingly bland throwaway line there. It’s also a film I can easily dip in and out of. Like a good book you’ve read dozens of times, you can just flick to a random chapter before sitting back and enjoying the ride. The DVD also has a plethora of extra scenes that were funny enough to make it into the finished film. As if that wasn’t enough, it’s got lots of music on it too. And on a deserted desert island, who’s gonna shout at you to turn down the heavy metal?

Click HERE for clip

THE GOONIES (1985)

Who needs to explore an island when I have these guys to do all the exploring for me? After a hard day’s sweeping the sand from my hut, watching this will be the perfect way to unwind. The filmic equivalent of calling round to your friends when you’re ten years old and going off on an adventure, The Goonies is exciting, soothing and riproaring fun all at the same time.

Click HERE for clip

MIDNIGHT RUN (1988)

‘Why aren’t you popular with the Chicago Police Department?’ I’ve tried to write about Midnight Run before and I just find it a real struggle. I could say it’s funny and I could say why it’s funny but I can never quite put it into words well enough to do the film justice. Let’s just say it would keep me in constant good humour were I to be stranded on an island all by myself.

Click HERE for clip

BLACK RAIN (1989)

Yeah, that’s right. I’m going to be bringing Black Rain on a desert island with me. You can stick The Godfather and Raiders Of The Lost Ark where the sun don’t shine, quite frankly. Black Rain is absolute drivel. Even though it was released at the fag end of the decade in 1989, it is probably more of an ‘eighties’ movie than your Ferris Buellers or your Pretty In Pinks. Watching it is like biting into a Wham bar and playing with Bruce Sato at the same time. It’s not very good, but is one of those films that has a strange hold on me. It’s arguably Ridley Scott’s worst film (yes, worse than A Good Year) and yet I can’t turn it off if it comes on TV. Maybe it’s because the allure of watching Michael Douglas play a renegade, fish-out-of-water New York cop is too much. Maybe it’s because I keep rewatching it in the hope that Andy Garcia doesn’t get his head sliced off this time. Or maybe it’s because I have no taste in films whatsoever. Whatever the reason, Black Rain is coming with me. Because I love it.

Click HERE for clip

For the full list of Desert Island Discs from all movie bloggers, click HERE

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

Crash. Shakespeare In Love. Ordinary People. Titanic. These are the movies that tend to get people’s goat up when the conversation turns to the Oscars. They are proof, if any were needed, that only the winners are remembered. What many forget is that there were a bunch of films that were even worse that have gone unnoticed just because their recognition extended no further than a nomination on the Best Picture list. That is about to change. Here we name and shame the movies that should never have even been nominated in the first place.

5. Doctor Dolittle (1967)

A genuine, start-to-finish mess. And that’s before you even begin to watch the film. Its behind-the-scenes tales (drunken egomaniac Rex Harrison moved his boat to ruin a shot on a day off, a paint-swilling fawn had to have its stomach pumped and no less a figure than Sir Ranulph Fiennes blew up the English set) are legendary, but none of that gripping drama found its way on to the screen. Instead, audiences were forced to watch Harrison grimacing his way through a series of lame set-pieces. For two and a half hours. It looked totally out of place in the nominations list alongside The Graduate, Bonnie And Clyde and In The Heat Of The Night. Just goes to show that the old rule applies: never work with children or animals. Or Rex Harrison.

4. Airport (1970)

Imagine Die Hard 2 being up for Best Picture and you have some comparitive clue of the stupidity that compelled Academy voters to nominate disaster flick Airport. It has a starry cast (Dean Martin is a pilot!) but so did Ocean’s Twelve. It’s thanks to this crud that Roland Emmerich has a career. I think I’ll just take the train instead.

3. Chocolat (2000)

Strange, I really like chocolate, but as soon as you knock that ‘e’ off the end I want to throw up. Another dud populated with terrific actors (Binoche, Depp, Dench, Molina) yet don’t let that fool you. Its nomination was a victory for Miramax marketing. Like a Twix that’s been left in the sun too long, it’s messy, gooey and will probably make you feel sick.

2. The Full Monty (1997)

Yes, at the time we all danced to Hot Stuff in various queues, but rewatching this is a real ‘What the hell was I thinking?!’ experience. A pretty seedy premise of a father introducing his young son to the world of stripping turns into a light drama that claims to be feelgood. In that you would feel good if you ripped your own eyes out not to watch it. It has the look and the clichés of a cancelled British sitcom. Makes Showgirls look like Cabaret.

1. The Godfather Part III (1990)

Scorsese supporters always moan about Goodfellas losing out on Best Picture to Dances With Wolves, but things could have been even worse: it could have been pipped by Godfather 3! Lately, it’s become quite cool for film buffs to argue that The Godfather Part III is a good film. Well, that theory is absolute pants. You can always judge an Al Pacino movie by his haircut. Slightly long and shaggy = good (Carlito’s Way, Dog Day Afternoon, Serpico) while short and spiky = very bad (The Devil’s Advocate and anything after 1999). Here he sports Arnie’s do from Red Heat. Bad sign. Even a decent showing from Andy Garcia can’t save this travesty, complete with Pope-filled plot. And who knows, it may have even received more votes than Goodfellas. Thankfully, we’ll never know…

WHAT DO YOU THINK ARE THE WORST FILMS TO BE NOMINATED FOR BEST PICTURE THAT DIDN’T WIN THE OSCAR?

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

5. Easy Rider

This film might have been all about Peter Fonda and Dennis Hopper, but while the two were bickering over creative differences, as egos do, Jack sails in in classic Jack style, takes the Oscar nod, and leaves. The character of George Hanson may not even appear until halfway through the film, and clocks out well before the end thanks to a well-placed machete, but it was enough to earn Jack the first of his Academy award nominations.

4. A Few Good Men

Jack Nicholson plays Jack Nicholson. Normally an insult for an actor, but not here. Nobody plays the bastard schtum military big wig like Nicholson, and boy does he suit that uniform. The perfect antagonist to Cruise’s enthusiasm. The film’s not as good as 12 Angry Men, though.

3. As Good as It Gets

Jack Nicholson plays Jack Nicholson again, but this time he is clearly having too much fun. Never has homophobia been so hilarious. Of course, Melvin Udall isn’t really homophobic, he’s just a p***k. Only one actor could make the audience sympathise with someone who hates everyone. His genuine efforts to understand why Helen Hunt’s Carol rejects him is as heart-wrenchingly endearing as watching a kitten repeatedly try to climb up a slide the wrong way.

2. Chinatown

He’s got the hat, he’s got the suit, he’s got the tie; all he needs is the mac with the upturned collar and the newspaper with the eye-holes in it. You might be forgiven for thinking Jack’s JJ Gittes is going to fall into the oh-so-gaping stereotypical private eye. But what he does instead is put in the performance that turned him from star into mega-star. It was all uphill from there, his next stop being the final one on this list. If Tom Cruise had’ve demanded the truth the way Jack does, he might have got his answers earlier.

1. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest

Hmmm… we need someone to play a character who is a bit insane, who isn’t really certifiably insane, but goes into an insane asylum anyway, and then sort of goes proper insane in the end… who should we get? This film won all Big Five Academy Awards (It Happened One Night was the only movie to do it beforehand) – Best Actor for Jack, as well as Best Actress, Director, Screenplay, and Picture. Actually, the latter four were probably because of Jack too.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE OSCAR-NOMINATED JACK NICHOLSON PERFORMANCES?

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

By Justin Michaels

5. Annie Hall (Best Picture, 1977)

There are a lot of people who will try to tell you that Star Wars is the greatest film ever released, when in fact it wasn’t even the greatest film released in spring 1977. The last comedy to win Best Picture (if you don’t count The Departed, that is), Annie Hall was a deserved victor. I’m not a huge Woody Allen fan but this is his Back In Black, the one film of his we can all agree is brilliant. The Oscars could have gone with that movie with the kid moaning about his power converters, but thankfully they didn’t.

4. Cuba Gooding Jr (Best Supporting Actor, 1996)

Who is the worst actor to win an Oscar? Roberto Benigni? Louis Gossett Jr? Sean Connery? Whoopi Goldberg? You know what, it’s not Cuba Gooding Jr. Even if he was in Boat Trip. There is too much evidence that he has talent in Jerry Maguire, in which he shines the whole way through as Rod Tidwell. He even outdoes fellow nominees of the calibre of William H Macy and Edward Norton. He asked to be shown the money, but we should show Cuba some love – he got his Oscar on merit.

3. Frances McDormand (Best Actress, 1996)

Another solid pick from the Academy in 1996, Frances McDormand’s performance in Fargo is surely among everyone’s all-time Oscar-winning favourites. Normal procedure would have dictated that Best Actress went to the film that was the night’s big winner, meaning the award seemed destined to go to Kristin Scott Thomas for her work in The English Patient. Yet the voters went with their guts, perhaps having seen McDormand spew hers up in the snow as tough-but-loveable cop Marge Gunderson.

2. Kevin Kline (Best Supporting Actor, 1988)

This is a remarkable Oscar win because it simply would not happen today. Yes, Christoph Waltz looks like he will pick up the same award for his often comedic turn in Inglourious Basterds, but he never breaks into full-on manic mode like Kevin Kline did in A Fish Called Wanda. Comedy is often ignored by the Oscars, and in recent years with good cause, but no one could miss the skill and joy that Kline invested in Otto, a bad guy so wacky he makes Jack Nicholson’s Joker look like a bit of a shrinking violet.

1. Crash (Best Picture, 2005)

And now we come to the most divisive Best Picture win of them all. Divisive in that there are those that hate it and those that really, really hate it. Say what you like, Crash deserved its Oscar, and here’s why. It has more heart than fellow nominees Capote, Munich and Good Night, and Good Luck and is simply a better film than Brokeback Mountain, seen as the favourite on the night. Brokeback is a frustratingly meandering tale with some nice scenery and two solid – but not spectacular – central performances. Crash successfully weaves a number of stories together, has terrific turns from Don Cheadle, Matt Dillon and Thandie Newton (who I normally can’t stand). It is shamelessly heartstring-tugging fare but what’s wrong with that? So was ET. And yes, we all know that racism is bad. But we also knew that McCarthyism was bad, cowboys are stubborn, Mossad killed people and Truman Capote was a bit of a dick.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THIS LIST? WHEN DO YOU THINK THE OSCARS GOT IT RIGHT?

TOP FIVE MOMENTS THE OSCARS GOT IT WRONG

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

5. Al Pacino (Best Actor, 1992)

'This is who I wish to put forward to play Robin.'

The problem with being a really good actor come Oscar time is that the Academy often thinks you’re bound to be up for an award for another performance in a few years, thus you get overlooked. The other problem is that often that performance in a few years time turns out to be in some sickly, sentimental drivel. It is impossible to begrudge Al Pacino his Oscar. However, it is possible to begrudge a process that ensures he gets it for the slushy Scent Of A Woman and not The Godfather, The Godfather: Part II, Serpico, Dog Day Afternoon or, ahem, Dick Tracy. This award is all the more insulting when you consider he was up against four really quite terrific performances: Robert Downey Jr in Chaplin, Clint Eastwood in Unforgiven, Stephen Rea in The Crying Game and Denzel Washington in Malcolm X. The Pity Oscars are called that for a reason… because they’re pitiful. Hoo-haa, indeed.

4. Hilary Swank (Best Actress, 2004)

Hilary Swank was fine as plucky boxer Maggie Fitzgerald in Million Dollar Baby. It’s just there wasn’t much depth to her performance. She’s plucky and she boxes. And that’s about it. The movie itself is Oscar-by-numbers filmmaking and Swank suffers for it. The real standout performance among the nominees that year was Kate Winslet in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, who created a real, complex and interesting character, not a stereotype.

3. Ben Kingsley (Best Actor, 1982)

Right. What do you want in a good performance? Do you want to watch someone playing a figure who is pretty much hailed a saint? Or do you want to watch someone give a warts-and-all portrayal of a desperate man, who is a shadow of his former self, clawing his way out of self-disgust? (You can guess by the length of the sentences which one I would rather see.) Kingsley is good as Gandhi in Gandhi, but there’s just no edge to his performance. But he looks just like Gandhi, people say. Well, Dolph Lundgren looked just like He-Man, and I don’t remember any awards being thrown his way. Instead of Kingsley taking the Oscar, it should have went to Paul Newman for The Verdict. As drunk lawyer Frank Galvin, Newman probably turns in the finest display of his amazing career. And that is saying something. Kingsley was fantastic as a villain in Sexy Beast, but as good guy Gandhi (for more than three hours) he just doesn’t reach the heights scaled by Newman.

2. Tommy Lee Jones (Best Supporting Actor, 1993)

'Alright, I admit it: there's no way I was as good as Ralph Fiennes.'

This one is just ridiculous. Tommy Lee Jones lists buildings to search for Harrison Ford in The Fugitive, while Ralph Fiennes becomes a murderous, Jew-shooting Nazi in Schindler’s List. Who do you think gets the Oscar? Unbelievable.

1. Titanic (Best Picture, 1997)

I like Titanic. It’s a good film. It has an epic sweep about it that only someone like James Cameron can instil. But is it as good as LA Confidential? Is it as good as As Good As It Gets? Is it as good as Good Will Hunting? (Wow, wish I had have released a film with ‘good’ in the title in 1997, might have got an Oscar nom.) Is it as good as The Full Monty? Well, okay, it’s way better than The Full Monty but it cannot match the other nominees that year, especially LA Confidential. That Curtis Hanson’s film didn’t take Best Picture is a crime comparable to any investigated by Bud White and Ed Exley.

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE LIST? WHEN DO YOU THINK THE OSCARS GOT IT WRONG?

TOP FIVE MOMENTS THE OSCARS GOT IT RIGHT

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

Reading reviews about great films can be pretty dull. Mainly because the reviewer simply goes on about how great the film is. Reading reviews about films that are total codswallop is another matter. When a reviewer sinks his teeth into a crummy movie, it often becomes personal. And that is when it becomes good.

For our money, the king of the negative written review is currently The Guardian’s Peter Bradshaw. There are very few who can touch him when he rips into a bad movie. And if it also happens to star Sandra Bullock or Matthew McConaughey then you might want to take a step back from your computer screen/newspaper. But Bradshaw doesn’t just point out that a film’s bad – anyone can do that. What he does is make the review entertaining to read. If that means singing the movie’s title track, shouting a superhero’s lame catchphrase or adding a vowel to the end of every second word in his reviews, then so be it. His one-star verdicts have become so notorious, fans have even set up a Facebook group devoted to them. Here, in my humble opinion, are his best five.

5. Fool’s Gold

'Weren't you in Dazed And Confused? What happened to you?'

Tracy and Hepburn. Bogart and Bacall. Taylor and Burton. What movie duo did the last decade throw up? McConaughey and Hudson. And the words ‘throw up’ were not used by accident. Because that is precisely what you will want to do if you ever have the misfortune of enduring even two minutes of Fool’s Gold, a documentary in which two very well-paid actors compare their abdominals. It was too much for Mr Bradshaw, who, in a short but punchy review, compared one of them to a fish and said the other’s career was proof God does not exist. Ouch.

To read the Fool’s Gold review, click HERE

4. My Sister’s Keeper

'I need your clothes, boots and your bandana...'

Bradshaw’s review of cloying dripfest My Sister’s Keeper begins in fairly entertaining fashion. He gets a few laughs out of Cameron Diaz’s hair-growing power and throws in a nice nod to Ryanair. It’s a pretty solidly written review but there is nothing in it that is out of the ordinary… until… he compares Little Miss Sunshine herself, Abigail Breslin, to a Terminator robot. Scratch that – he doesn’t compare her to a cyborg sent back from the future to kill people – he reveals that she is a hunk of metal with murderous intent. Serves her right for appearing in Raising Helen with Kate Hudson.

To read the review for My Sister’s Keeper, click HERE

3. RocknRolla

Gerard gets the call from his agent to do PS I Love You 2

Poor Guy Ritchie always takes a hammering from the critics, but no one hammered him like Bradshaw. Plainly tired of listening to Ritchie’s caricatures talking in lame mockneyspeak for an hour and a half, Bradshaw pointed out how annoying it is by using it himself. It’s hard to tell if the sub-editors at The Guardian added in a few extra ‘a’s to beef it up, but the point is well made. Worth inclusion in this rundown just for including the phrase: ‘many a bourgwa meeja wanka who thinks he’s a West Ham supporta after a night on the powda’. Nice reference to ‘Madonner’, too.

To read the RocknRolla review, click HERE

2. Mamma Mia

Meryl was ecstatic when Pierce suggested recording a duets album

This is where Bradshaw really earns his spurs. When was the last time a writer burst into song in a movie review? (Uh, HERE, perhaps?) Okay, when was the last time a movie reviewer burst into song and it was actually entertaining? Don’t remember Roger Ebert doing that. Thankfully, the review doesn’t wane once the singing stops, as Bradshaw points out the flaws in the film’s time narrative and comes up with a hilarious idea to incorporate the Abba song Fernando into the sequel.

Read the Mamma Mia review HERE

1. The Incredible Hulk

'HULK! C***! Uh, sorry.. I mean: HULK! SMASH!'

Singing in a review is one thing. Pretending you’re a superhero for one is quite another. If only all film critics had the balls to do this. This is quite a divisive review – many people think it’s just silly and juvenile – but every time I read it I find something different and funny in it. The fact that I quite liked The Incredible Hulk (before it turned to mush in the last hour, of course) just makes me enjoy this review all the more. Not only is it laugh-out-loud entertaining, but it asks some of the most important questions of the 21st century. Does Hulk look like Gordon Brown? Do you have to be American to be in the US army? And if he’s so angry, why doesn’t Hulk ever swear?

Read the review for The Incredible Hulk HERE

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF PETER BRADSHAW’S ONE-STAR REVIEWS?

5. Shadow – Homeword Bound: The Incredible Journey

Three great animal performances here, and not many crappy humans to distract. Sally Field’s pampered Sassy and Michael J Fox’s perfectly enthusiastic Chance are contenders, but it is Don Ameche’s old Golden Retriever who really stands out. Instead of worrying about who will feed them when their owners disappear, the threesome actually set out on the road because they think the family may be in trouble (*sniffle*). And then poor old Shadow gets stuck in that hole and can’t climb out (*sob*). Of course, the real reason he makes the top five is my late dog was also called Shadow… (okay, now I’ve a lump in my throat.)

4. Lassie

How could we not include the matriarch of all cinematical canines? I say matriarch, even though the collie was nearly always played by a male dog because their coats are nicer. According to Wikipedia, Lassie has featured in 11 films,  11 TV series, 2 radio series and 59 books – not bad. Little known fact: Lassie also donned dolphin and kangaroo costumes for several Flipper and Skippy films, respectively.

3. Hooch – Turner and Hooch

Easily the cutest dog on the list. The French mastiff is a big, slobbery mess and the most adorable thing since Dumbo. This slot was closely contended by Jerry Lee from K-9, which is the same film except with an Alsatian. However, Hooch laid down his life in the line of duty, while Jerry Lee got to swan off into the sunset with his poodle bitch.

2. Sam – I Am Legend

Can animals get oscars? That was a question many people were asking when this post-apocalyptic, scary-during-the-day-scenes, crap-during-the-night-scenes thriller hit cinemas. I believe there was even an internet petition to start a new Oscar category for animals after Will Smith was out-acted by the Alsatian. And that scene when Smith realises she has been bitten… (aw man, that lump in my throat is back.)

1. Babe

While this list is made up of some pretty great dogs, none of them realise how lucky they are having the natural awesomeness of being a dog thrust naturally upon them. Everyone laughed at this pig when he said he wanted to be a sheepdog, but who’s laughing now? Yes, we are still, because it’s a very funny film. Anything that can impress James Cromwell deserves to be number one on any list.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE MOVIE DOGS? (and before you start, rumour has it an Animated Dogs list may be en route…)

TOP FIVES ARCHIVE

Beauty, as Michael Bay once professed, is in the eye of the 13-year-old boy leering at Megan Fox. But who is to say that the 13-year-old boy leering at Megan Fox is wrong? Well, uh… me, for one. Actors often moan about being seen solely as sex symbols but tough: that’s precisely what they are. Pieces of meat who speak from time to time. What they seem to forget is that their looks can help elevate a performance to classic status.

Here are my picks for the six most beautiful performances in movie history. Not necessarily the actors who I think are the hottest (or else this post would just have lots of pictures of Julianne Moore) but the best instances when an actor’s looks in a particular role beguiled me and hit me for six.  

This may be our most subjective Top Five ever, but don’t let that stop you from ripping into my choices in the comments section below. And providing your own, of course.

6. Cate Blanchett (Bandits)

You could argue that if you put any broad in between a balding Bruce Willis and an ugly Billy Bob Thornton she would look hot. And you would be right. But would she be as hot as Cate is in this enjoyable catch-us-if-you-can caper? Not likely. The great thing about watching Blanchett is that she doesn’t look like anyone else (apart from Katharine Hepburn, of course). She’s a beautiful alien that has decided to land on our planet for a while. Normally her looks are reined in by directors but in Bandits she gets to have fiery red hair and sing along to Bonnie Tyler. And nothing is more sexy than a woman singing Bonnie Tyler. Unless it’s Bonnie Tyler.

5. Paul Newman (Cool Hand Luke)

The genius of Stuart Rosenberg’s film is that it takes the finest looking actor of the time and puts him through hell. This is not my favourite Newman role nor is it my favourite Newman film but it probably remains his most iconic performance. With eyes burning as blue as his prison overalls, this is Hollywood’s most handsome man at his most handsome.

4. Ava Gardner (The Killers)

If looks could kill, Ava Gardner would have slain thousands of men. As mystery dame Kitty Collins, she pretty much defined what a femme fatale should look like. She lends the character a sultry intelligence that drips off the screen and right into your lap.  

3. George Clooney (Out Of Sight)

Steven Soderbergh’s slick movie was marketed as having something for everyone. All the girls wanted to go to bed with George Clooney and all the boys wanted to go to bed with Jennifer Lopez. Truth be told, everybody wanted to go to bed with Gorgeous George. Out Of Sight is a solid if slightly overrated film but it allows you to witness a momentous event: the birth of a movie star. Although this and subsequent roles proved Clooney is far more than just his pretty face, that doesn’t mean you couldn’t keep your eyes off it. Memo to Brad Pitt: give up.

2. Harrison Ford (Raiders Of The Lost Ark)

In all the analysis about George Lucas and Steven Spielberg’s famous adventurer, what is rarely mentioned is just how goddam fine looking he is. Harrison Ford has always been a relatively attractive man, but in the first Indiana Jones movie his face peaked like the Paramount logo in the opening credits. The thing about Ford is that he brings a sense of danger - of impending violence – to the character that original choice Tom Selleck never could have. Whether firing a gun, waving a whip around, getting whacked by a mirror or teaching a college class, Jones is the doctor you want to see every time you don’t feel good. Well worth writing ‘love you’ on your eyelids for.

1. Juliette Binoche (Three Colours: Blue)

An achingly beautiful film with an achingly beautiful star. Binoche is on screen for pretty much all of Krzysztof Kieslowski’s first instalment in his Three Colours trilogy, and aren’t we fortunate that she is. Not only does she carry this film with her acting ability but she does so with her hair, her face, her entire body. It is fitting that such a creature fronts a film that hypnotises the viewer. One look into her eyes and I was lost completely. Has anyone been more beautiful in a movie? I don’t think so.

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE BEAUTIFUL PERFORMANCES?

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Gene Kelly doesn’t feature on this list. Let’s get that out of the way right from the start. You can feel angry now rather than feel it after scrolling down the page and discovering he’s been replaced by something you think is totally lame. I like his slick moves on roller skates and with an umbrella, but you know what: I don’t love them. They’re too smooth, too polished, too perfect. I like my solo dancing heroes because of their imperfections, or else this list would be made up of Patrick Swayze and Gregory Hines. Yes, they have undoubted talent, but there is something about the five hoofers below that just get me at a gut-level. Even if some of them have no rhythm whatsoever. Tell me your favourite male solo dance moments in the comments section below.

5. Jim Carrey (The Mask)

Watch the Rubber-faced Funnyman™ lead the police on a merry dance in this number. Had I not included this sequence in the list Ross McD would not have been a happy camper, but I can report that we actually agree on this one. In a film packed with great routines, the Cuban Pete skit still manages to stand out. Simply because it’s so much fun.

4. Mel Gibson (What Women Want)

They can take our land… but they can never take… MY DANCE MOVES! Who knew Mad Max could shuffle like this? If Martin Riggs ever saw this he’d probably jump off a building. But who cares? Mel is a natural mover, using a hat stand and a hat to the ironic sounds of Sinatra’s I Won’t Dance. You will dance, Mel Gibson, and you will dance very entertainingly indeed. This is what women want.

3. Hugh Grant (Love Actually)

Okay, so calling this ‘dancing’ is a little like calling Vince Vaughn an ‘actor’, but that doesn’t stop it being an immensely enjoyable scene. Grant is the king of awkward comedy and here he proves why.

2. Jon Heder (Napoleon Dynamite)

No matter what he does for the rest of his career, this is the moment Jon Heder will be remembered for. The brilliance of this scene is that it doesn’t fit in with the rest of the movie. It also draws from the secret fantasy within all of us of wowing the entire school in the assembly hall. I like your dance moves, Napoleon, they’re real big.

1. Kevin Kline (In & Out)

What a great scene this is. Not many actors have the comic timing to pull this sequence off, so we should be thankful that the often underrated Kevin Kline is playing the closet gay guy attempting to prove his masculinity to himself. Thankfully, he fails spectacularly, allowing him to bust a move like it’s nobody’s business. Only Kline could take a simple platform of a man and a talking tape and make it golden. The tape’s frantic pleas as Kline gets down are priceless: ‘Think about John Wayne! Arnold Schwarzenegger! Arnold doesn’t dance. He can barely walk!’ That may be true, but Kevin Kline sure can dance…

WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE MALE SOLO DANCE ROUTINES?

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