Top 16… Movies Ross McD Watched Over Christmas
Why do we only watch films we’ve already seen over Christmas? It is easily our most condensed film viewing schedule of the year, yet we hardly ever see anything new. Are TV schedulers to blame? Or are we just that bit more nostalgic over the holidays? Only three of the films I watched this yuletide were for the first time - two in the cinema and one on DVD. TV sucks!
1. NineWent to see this without really knowing anything about it, and sadly was a bit disappointed. Some good song and dance numbers – including one absolutely stunning set-piece with black-eyed pea Fergie – but little else besides. Tortured artist was influenced by strong female role models, and that’s it. Nothing to justify its transition from stage.
2. Sherlock HolmesGood fun, wasn’t surprised to find myself impressed by Downey Jnr, but was surprised at liking Jude Law. How exciting can you make the skill of detection? Rumour has it the owner of the rights to Conan Doyle’s work is threatening to pull them if the boys turn out to be ‘closer’ than work associates. And after a single viewing, you’ll know where she got that impression from.
3. March of the PenguinsEntertaining, very informative and absurdly cute. Don’t really know what made it a ‘film’ and not merely a ‘documentary’, besides the inclusion of Morgan Freeman. Predictably heart-warming and heart-breaking.
5. Harry Potter and the Goblet of FireAll six films sucked compared to their respective books, but increasingly less so as the series progressed. This one was okay with some decent action sequences. Only tuned in at the bit with the Hungarian Horntail, and watched for ten minutes before I realised it was on TG4, and therefore in Irish with dodgy dubbed voice-overs, thus prompting a swift channel change.
7. The Holiday (x2)Yes, you read correctly, I watched this over Christmas. Twice. Well, almost. My sad GF loves crap like this, and it is crap, but I was forced to sit through it or moodily play my DS. A few nights later I sat through 20 minutes of it again in some sort of trance before realising what was going on, the sneaky bitch. How many chick flicks must contain women carefreely running through houses lip-synching to music?
8. It’s a Wonderful LifeHaving only seen this for the first time just before Christmas, it warranted another viewing. Opted for the colour version much to my mam’s indignation, it’s just as good, and not at all blasphemous as she feared.
9. Wallace & Gromit in the Curse of the Were-RabbitAgree with McG on this, superb animation, superb script, superb pacing. A delight for kids and adults alike. And not an instantly guessable twist! At least, I didn’t instantly guess it. How cute is the Were-Rabbit? Also caught A Matter of Loaf and Death for the first time – also brilliant.
10. Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s EndThis franchise seems to be the new Christmas staple. Like the Bourne films, you’re never quite sure which of them you are watching. Top 5 cringeworthy moments: Keira Knightly’s speech at the end. Top 5 explosions: the destruction of the Endeavor shortly afterward. PS read the plot summary on Wikipedia – and you thought Joyce’s Ulysses was complicated.
11. AnchormanProbably because I was laughing so hard at the middle bit, I never realised just how much this film peters out towards the end. It’s currently at 21 on my all time top 100, might have to nudge that down a bit. Actually that whole thing needs an overhaul. Standby.
12. Final Destination 3Oddly, I’ve already seen 1, 2, and 4 (or ‘The’ as it’s called), this is by far the worst one. And they’re all pretty crap. The only reason anyone watches these are for the death scenes, and they are a bit meh in 3. Except for the sunbeds, that was pretty gruesome.
13. Inspector GadgetLoved the cartoon, obviously never got round to seeing the film ’cause Matthew feckin’ Broderick is in it. Managed about 4.5 minutes before my brain threw up and my hands involuntary pulled my eyeballs out.
15. Jingle All The WayBit of a guilty pleasure, utterly s***e but utterly watchable. Little Anakin Skywalker is in it! Do you reckon Arnie’s political opponents play clips of this and laugh at him? Probably not, he’s still pretty big.
16. Dexter – Season 4OK, not technically a film. Actually it’s not a film at all, it’s a TV series. But it’s so awesome I had to stick it in. John Lithgow is excellent as always, although it’s hard to watch him being sinister and not imagine him saying ‘yes, I know the Muffin Man’.
WHAT MOVIES DID YOU WATCH OVER THE CHRISTMAS HOLIDAYS?